Joya Ryan: Worst Pick~Up Lines

Is there such a thing as too many adjectives?

When I saw the opportunity to post the worst pickup line ever, only one thing came to mind: the overuse of descriptions. You know that saying, “If at first you don’t succeed…?” This can be applied to pickup lines. Some find that adding to the original pickup line is the way to go. Others think that if they just start listing their attributes, that is enough to make you swoon. I must say though, that the worst pickup line I’ve heard came in a string of randomness that took me by surprise and I must admit, rendered me speechless.

“Hey. I can speak Russian. I jump out of planes and I work for HBO. Want to see a picture of me skydiving?”

I was just sitting in the bar, minding my own business, and got hit with that gem. How do you respond? He was already fishing out his cell phone to show me what I assume was him jumping out of a plane when reality settled in and I realized…was that a pickup line?

“That’s okay,” I said.

He looked at me, then at his phone, then at me again. “Did I mention I speak Russian?”

“Yeah, you did.”

He nods and grins. “Want to hear your name in Russian?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Seriously, tell me your name, and I’ll say it in Russian,” he insists with a wink. “Then maybe I’ll get you to say my name in Russian later.”

“Because you can speak Russian right?” (He missed my sarcasm.)

“Yes, that’s right.”

This went on for a while…

So this isn’t a one-liner exactly, but it was odd and sometimes I think guys are better off just saying, “Hi,” and stopping there.



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