What Happens When Juliette & Naima Are Procrastinating…
Naima: Well, dear readers, I’m not saying it’s a dangerous thing when authors procrastinate, and they have Messenger available at their fingertips. Nope, not saying it’s dangerous. But I AM saying stuff happens. Weird stuff. Crazy stuff. Here’s a peek into the Real Time life of Juliette Cross and moi when we’re supposed to be in the writing cave but we’re so obviously…not.
Naima: Julieeeeeetttte. Whatchu doing?
Juliette: Omg! I should be writing but I’m addicted to this freakin’ Kerrigan Byrne book I’m reading.
Naima: LOLOL!! I’m writing, too. But my characters are about to get nekkid and sweaty, and I haven’t brushed my teeth or had coffee yet. I can’t write nobody bumping uglies when I got dragon breath and no caffeine. So I’m jumping on FB as an excuse to procrastinate! ??
Juliette: Hygiene is totally overrated. I say, boycott.
Naima: Aaaaaaand this is why I love you. You totally get me…
Juliette: Hive mind powers are the best.
Naima: Especially when it’s our minds. MUUUUHAHAHAHAHA!!! *cough* *hack* *puff on inhaler* MUUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Juliette: LMAO! Just don’t tell the rest of the world what’s up there or they’d be terrified.
Naima: Or impressed.
Juliette: Or bewildered.
Naima: Or in awe.
Juliette: As long as they don’t see how naughty things TRULY are.
Naima: I think that jig is up. Have you seen my FB posts?
Juliette: Truth. And have you read my books? Have you read YOUR books?
Naima: Haaaah!! Billionaires and getting diggy!
Juliette: Yep. Sex and money, baby! Woot!
Naima: Isn’t that a song? We should SO make it a song!
Juliette: Omg! Yes!
Naima: It would break iTunes!!
Juliette: Lmao. Like literally shatter glass.
Naima: ROFLMAO!!! Better not do it then. We don’t want rappers hating on us for our genius…
Juliette: They’d be so jelly.
Naima: Then we’d have dis tracks recorded about us. It’d be a huge brouhaha! I’ve been DYING to use that word!!
Juliette: LMAO!!!!!!!!????
Juliette: They’d be like, bishes, go back to writing. We can tell Entangled we’re taking our show on tour. Half readings/half rap.
Naima: ROFLMAO!!! We would totally sell arenas out!!
Naima: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! That’s our “Stay in Yo Lane B!” glass of wine and laugh! Hah!! Another track!!
Juliette: YES!!! There’s also the “Who Needs to Pitch? Not this Bish”. That could be our cover song.
Naima: I. Can’tttttt-uh!! That is definitely our first single!!!
Juliette: LMAO!!!!! Name of our album? “Bestseller, Bishes!”
Naima: No doubt!! And Track B should be “Plot Theeese Nuts!”
Juliette:
via GIPHY
Literally laughing out loud!!!!
Naima: My daughter just came in here to see if I was okay because I’ve been laughing so loud.
Juliette: Another track…”Suck My Dic-tation”. Lmao!!!!!
Naima: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I’m freaking choking!!
Juliette: We need to make our playlist. Seriously….Not playlist. I mean #1 album!
Naima: Oooh! “Mo’ Edits, Mo’ Problems”!
Juliette: Yes!!!
Naima: Songs for our platinum album!!
Juliette: Yes! For RWA next year. Promo gold!
Naima: We can give out mixed tapes when we’re there!!
Juliette: Yeah. Instead of free downloads we’ll be giving those.
Naima: I mean, we’re gonna be so hot by then, they’ll WANT to buy it!!
Juliette: Of course, now I know we’re the same age because I didn’t even trip over mixed tapes! No more cassette players!
Naima: LMAO!!! Damn. I need to get that right.????
Juliette: Another! “She’s a Swag Ho” Alternate title: #PokeForPromo Omg! I have got to go write!!! But now I’m totally sidetracked!
Naima: BUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! That’s the second single right there!!
Juliette: Yep!
Naima: Go write and I’ll go brush my teeth and make coffee! But I’m still working on my hit tracks!
Juliette: K. Send me anymore. Because I’m totally putting our list together for future procrastination sessions. Just so we can pee ourselves laughing when we should be writing and editing. Lmao!
Naima: I’ll definitely do it! Including “Pimping Ain’t Easy for a Promo Ho.”
Juliette: OMG! Yes! I’m popping this here and then I’m leaving!!! “Alpha All Night…Yeah, Das Right!”
Naima: LMAO!!! Certified hit!!!
************
Juliette: Readers, we apologize for our insanity but we hope you’ll enjoy the fruits of our labor. Naima and I have made a solemn vow that if the writing gig doesn’t pan out, we’re going on tour with our album (below). We certainly appreciate your support of our musical endeavors. ;)
And the tour that has been selling out in every city worldwide! Coming to your city soon!
Procrastinate all weekend long with Juliette and Naima!
Grab The Emerald Lily and Scoring the the Wrong Twin.
Both out now!
When Princess Vilhelmina Dragomir is awakened from her hellish sleep with a blood kiss from a handsome stranger, she learns that much has changed while she’s been away. The armies of the Black Lily and the vampire Crown have amassed and are on the brink of war.
No romantic entanglements, no family. Mikhail Romanov, Captain of the Bloodguard, took a vow when he joined the Bloodguard. But he never planned for the gut-punching attraction he would feel for the untouchable princess. He must keep his focus, though. In order to avenge his family, it’s essential he help Mina claim her crown and keep his damn hands off of her.
But Mina sets her heart on the elusive captain, and keeping his focus on the great battle ahead becomes harder and harder. While they’re making plans, the evil King Dominik has been making some of his own. This time, he will show no mercy to the Princess…
Shy, awkward Sophia Cruz has a hard time telling her vivacious identical twin “no.” But when her sister begs her to swap places for a modeling shoot, she caves … again. Then Zephirin Black walks onto the set. The brooding, aloof, and gorgeous tight end for the Washington Warriors. But she can keep it professional… She has to. Because the adorkable Cruz twin has no luck with guys once they compare her to her sister.
After a bad break-up, Zeph hasn’t been big on second chances—and even less with trust. But he finds himself giving please-call-me-by-my-middle-name-Sophia both. The woman he’d dismissed as a spoiled cover model is different from the first time he met her. Quirkier. Funnier. Definitely sexier. What started as one night turns into another…and another…and another…
Still, Sophia can’t go on keeping her secret from him. But telling Zeph the truth will mean losing him for good.
Juliette calls lush, moss-laden Louisiana home where the landscape curls into her imagination, creating mystical settings for her stories. She has a B.A. in creative writing from Louisiana State University, a M.Ed. in gifted education, and was privileged to study under the award-winning author Ernest J. Gaines in grad school. Her love of mythology, legends, and art serve as constant inspiration for her works. From the moment she read JANE EYRE as a teenager, she fell in love with the Gothic romance–brooding characters, mysterious settings, persevering heroines, and dark, sexy heroes. Even then, she not only longed to read more novels set in Gothic worlds, she wanted to create her own.
USA Today bestselling author Naima Simone’s love of romance was first stirred by Johanna Lindsey and Linda Howard many years ago. Though her first attempt at writing a romance novel at age 11 never saw the light of day, her love of romance and writing has endured. Now, she spends her time creating stories of unique men and women who experience the dizzying heights of passion and the tender heat of love. She is wife to Superman—or his non-Kryptonian, less bullet proof equivalent—and mother to the most awesome kids ever. They all live in perfect, domestically-challenged bliss in the southern United States.About Author
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