Nina Crespo: Worst Pick-up Lines Ever

Throw Me A Line…

Back in the day, I used to work in the beverage industry (insert club/bar). I’ve received and overheard more than my share of pickup lines. For the most part, they made me gag, want to hide under a table, or required all my strength not to slap the hell out of the guy for throwing it out there.

I must admit, a few have stayed with me:

“Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night.” This one made me hope I was running toward something fabulous, like a half-off shoe sale or at least chocolate—and he was nowhere in sight.

“Wait. I need to take a picture of you. I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.” My thoughts—if getting kicked by a pointy-toed stiletto is the gift he wants to receive, who am I to deny him the pleasure?

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Why don’t you let me buy you a drink, and you can tell me all about it?” Do you recognize it? It’s the line Jasmine received in the opening of the first novella in the Birthday Dare series, TAKE ME IF YOU DARE. Luckily, gorgeous Ethan came to the rescue.

The cheesy pickup lines my husband has thrown out starting from the day we got married are the best. He does it to make me laugh, pull me out of a tailspin of despair, or to stop me from taking myself too seriously. They’re usually delivered with a wink and a smile, and received by me with an eye roll and a solid punch to his arm.

But okay, I’ll come clean. He’s the only man who can deliver a pickup line that truly gets to me. Outside, I’m looking at him like he’s crazy. Inside, my heart is melting, and I’m falling in love with him all over again. But do me a favor: Keep that part a secret. He doesn’t need to know his pickup lines actually work.