5 Holiday Things We Don’t Do In Australia

Dec 18, 2018 by

During all of December we have some great romance steals for every type of reader.  We’re excited to welcome Jess Anastasi sharing 5 Holiday Things They Don’t Do In Australia and be sure to check out Atrophy, on sale for just 99¢!

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Look, I’ll be honest. Most of what I know about the good ol’ USofA I learned from TV. We get heaps of American TV here Down Under. I reckon more than half of our programming comes from overseas. Which means as a kid, I was pretty bloody confused about why all the holiday season movies featured people getting around in winter gear when it was 40 degrees Celsius outside (in American, that’s around 106 degrees Fahrenheit). The holidays in Australia are pretty much polar opposite to the USA, so I thought I’d compile a top 5 list of holiday things that just don’t happen in ‘straya.

  1. Snow. First off, at this time of year in Australia its summer. We’re all cruisin’ around down here in our t-shirts, shorts and thongs. Not THAT kind of thong. They’re what we call flip-flops here in Australia. But definitely no snow. And even if it was winter here (Christmas in July anyone?) it still wouldn’t be snowing in 95% of Australia. There’s like 3 mountains where it snows here in winter and they’re all at least 4 hours drive from any civilization.

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2. Caroling around the neighborhood.

Look, when your closest neighbor is 30 kilometers (19 miles) down a dusty dirt track guaranteed to be occupied by blowflies the size of your thumb, several deadly types of snakes, several pissed off emus (emus are ALWAYS pissed off, don’t ask me why) and a semi-trailer road-train traveling at the speed of light, then it’s just not worth the holiday spirit to go singing anywhere. Better off having a cold beer and watching the cricket.

 

 

3. Eggnog

Strictly speaking, we have eggnog here in Australia, occasionally I see it in the supermarket. But I don’t know one single person who drinks it, no matter how much alcohol you put in there. And I certainly don’t know anyone who makes it from scratch. I tasted it once when I was a teenager and I’m sorry, America, but it’s just not my cup of tea. Literally. Despite the hot weather, Aussies love a good cuppa. So if you’ve got an Australian visiting for the holidays, make sure you’ve got a strong black tea on hand. And I’m talking leaf-tea brewed in a pot—none of this “teabag” nonsense.

 

 

Milk Ew GIF by Studio 10 - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

4. Pumpkin Spice Everything

Not really sure why people in the USA are so crazy over pumpkins spice. Okay, I get it in pumpkin pie—also a thing we don’t really do here in Australia. We tend to eat pumpkin as a savory dish either roasted or in soup. I’ve never actually eaten a pumpkin pie. But pumpkin spice lattes? Pumpkin spice donuts? Pumpkin spice ice cream? Pumpkin spice martinis? Pumpkin spice Pringles? Okay, now you’re just having me on, right? Oh… you’re serious. Ahem, well, each to their own! And look, it’s not like we can talk down here. Us Australians still can’t work out why no one else loves Vegemite as much as we do.

 

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5. Turkey

I’m not saying we don’t eat Turkey here in Australia, just that there’s half a dozen other things most families would probably eat before a Turkey during the holidays, and since we don’t do Thanksgiving, the bush turkey (yes there is such a thing) population of Australia remains relatively safe. At this time of year, you’ll find us eating glazed ham, roasting pork (with crackling, really the only reason any of us eat roast pork) and throwing some seafood on a barbeque. If we’re in the mood for some poultry, then we’re more likely to roast a chook (chicken). And even then, we might be feeling lazy and get it already cooked from the rotisserie at the supermarket.

 

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So there you have it. A little Aussie for your holiday season.

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Atrophy by Jess Anastasi

On sale for 99¢!

Twelve years on the prison planet Erebus makes a man long for death. The worst part for Tannin Everette is that he was framed for murder. He’s innocent. When the ship Imojenna lands for emergency repairs, Tannin risks everything to escape…only to find himself face to face with the captain’s undeniably gorgeous sister.

Zahli Sherron isn’t planning on turning Tannin in. In fact, she actually believes him. Sure, he’s sexy as every kind of sin, but he’s no criminal—so she hides him. But no one escapes from Erebus and lives to tell about it. With every day that passes, Zahli further risks the lives of the entire crew…even as she falls in love with a man she can never have for herself.

 

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